


I Promise

by iwasnthere622



Category: Power Rangers (2017)
Genre: Anger, Blood, Character Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fighting, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Homophobic Language, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, Language, Loss, Self-Harm, Sick Character, Wakes & Funerals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-19
Updated: 2017-07-19
Packaged: 2018-12-04 00:48:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 13,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11543946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iwasnthere622/pseuds/iwasnthere622
Summary: Zack's mom is dying.





	1. Chapter 1

Zack laid in bed with his mother, one arm wrapped around her and his other hand petting gently through her hair. He was still crying, but silently, now, the tears sluggishly trailing down his face to drip to his shirt, staining his face.

 

He knew what he had to do, knew his mother was right, but it just... it wasn't _fair_...

 

Kissing her forehead gently, he forced himself up, moving carefully and quickly wiping at his face when he realized he'd woken her.

 

Mrs. Taylor's eyes took long moments to focus once she'd blinked them open, heart breaking all over again at seeing Zack so distraught. "I love you," she said softly, reaching for him.

 

Zack hurried to meet her reach, using his own arm to hold hers up to his face, lending her his strength. "I love you," he whispered back, choking down more tears.

 

"My Zack," she sighed, letting him lower her arm carefully, fighting to hold on, to stay with him as long as she could.

 

"Rest," Zack soothed. "I'm here. I'm not leaving."

 

He waited until she settled, spending too many minutes watching her chest rise and fall as she breathed, before forcing himself up. He could do this -- he had to. For his mom.

 

Gathering his strength, he moved to her small dresser and picked up her mirror, holding it with trembling fingers. He left her room as quietly as he could, leaving her door open so that he could hear her better.

 

He moved to his own room, grabbing his small hand mirror, and then went to the bathroom, frowning at the mirrored front of the medicine cabinet. He studied the hinges and avoided meeting his own eyes in the reflective surface, taking the two hand mirrors out for now and placing them by the door.

 

Zack then dug around in the cabinets in the kitchen, eventually finding the small toolkit that they had for household repairs and pulling out a screwdriver. Tool in hand, he went back to the bathroom. He was sorely tempted to just smash the mirror and be done with it, but he knew that would disappoint his mother -- he had to do this right.

 

So, he spent a frustrating 40 minutes carefully unscrewing the mirrored door off its hinges, saving the plates and screws. He looked in on his mother sleeping, loathe to leave her but holding on to her promise that she wouldn't leave until this was done. He was sorely tempted to push that promise by not doing anything, to try to force her to stay forever, but he knew if he did he would only hurt them both.

 

So instead of screaming and crying and begging like he had the past hour with her, he sucked it up, gathered up the three mirrors, and left the trailer.

 

He moved quickly, dumping the mirrors in the trailer park dumpster and heading to town. He kept his pace quick, not enough to draw suspicion but otherwise as fast as he could, checking his phone as he moved. His heart constricted at the messages from his friends, checking in on him, asking if he was okay.

 

He pocketed the phone again for now, unable to deal with them, because if he typed it or said it then it would be real and he was still clinging like a child to a small but stubborn hope that he was dreaming.

 

Zack made it into town and headed straight for the reconstruction area, walking with purpose to the section of supplies left out for residents to take and use to rebuild. He didn't feel an ounce of guilt in digging around in the piles of wood -- he'd saved this town, they fucking owed him -- making sure to take enough and grabbing a saw as well. Hammer and nails he had at home.

 

He didn't care that some people were looking at him funny, didn't care that he was really carrying too much at once to be quite believable, he just took what he needed and left, walking away as fast as he dared.

 

Despite his aching need to go home to his mom, he headed up the mountain instead, to the train car that he'd claimed ages ago, because he didn't need anyone watching him do this, they wouldn't understand.

 

Leaving his materials in the car, he ran home, grabbing the hammer and nails and just standing in the doorway to his mother's room and listening to her breathing. His thoughts frayed, losing time as he just stood there until his phone vibrating jolted him, checking his phone and realizing school was out now and his friends were starting to worry since he hadn't been at school or answered them all day.

 

Zack looked from the phone to his mom and back, sending a quick message before he could talk himself out of it: _meet at the train car_.

 

As soon as the message sent his stomach tightened and his eyes burned. He forced himself to take a deep breath and to pocket his phone before he crushed it. With a lingering last look at his mom, he left again and ran to the train car, not quite knowing where or how to start but knowing he _had_ to do this. He had to do this for her.

 

He laid out the pieces, in order of best quality to least, and stood surveying them, trying to mentally picture what he needed and how it would work. He was still standing there, staring down at the wood, when he heard an engine rumbling closer.

 

He cursed in Mandarin under his breath, pressing the heels of his hands to his eyes and turning his back to where he knew his friends would be coming from, trying to compose himself. Fuck, what time even was it, he was wasting so much time when he didn't have that much left...!

 

"Zack?" Trini said, worry in her voice, the small chatter of their group cutting off at the sight of their friend.

 

"What's all this?" Jason asked, looking at the wood laid out, the saw and hammer.

 

Zack took a deep breath and turned around to face them, watching them all stop short in front of him. "This is for my mom," he said, voice cracking.

 

"Zack?" Trini repeated, heart pounding, tears springing to her eyes. No, oh no...

 

"It's tradition," Zack said, unable to look at Trini, to look at any of them, staring up at the sky instead. "In my mom's culture, it's tradition. To buy the..." He paused, eyes welling, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. "To buy the casket," he continued, "when your relative is on their deathbed. But we can't -- I can't -- so I'm making one."

 

Trini put a hand to her mouth, crying silently. Kim and Billy were both crying, too, and Jason was barely hanging on himself. "Zack..."

 

"When it... when it happens," Zack continued, needing to say this, "I'll, uh, I'll text you the invitation to the rites. It's... you guys gotta wear black, okay? Or blue, but no red or yellow. And no white, that's for... that's for me."

 

"How long?" Jason asked, voice cracking. How long until...?

 

"Any day," Zack whispered, finally looking at them and seeing them all crying for him, for his mom, he lost it. "Fuck. Fuck!" he yelled, spinning away, shoulders curling in, body shaking.

 

Trini launched herself at her friend, hugging him tight from behind, the rest of the team barely a second behind her until they were all tangled together with Zack at the center.

 

Zack couldn't hold himself together, collapsing into their arms and sobbing his heart out, hands griping at them, feeling like if they left go he would fly apart into a million pieces, feeling like his soul was being ripped out.

 

"B-breathe, Zack," Jason said, feeling the teen beginning to hyperventilate, squeezing them all in tighter. "We're here, breathe."

 

"We'll help," Trini said, voice hoarse.

 

"Whatever you need," Kim promised right after her, sniffling, mascara smudged on her cheeks.

 

Zack caught his breath slowly, out of tears again for the moment, bitter anger filling him instead. "It's not fair. It's not _fair_." He slammed his fist into the ground -- when had they collapsed to the ground? -- squeezing his eyes tight. "It's not fair!"

 

"No it's not," Jason said, and Zack opened his eyes to find some of the anger he held reflected back at him in Jason's eyes.

 

"Let's build this," Billy said, pulling back slowly and wiping at his face. "Let us help you build this."

 

Everyone separated from each other, but they all stayed close. Zack nodded once, and Billy squeezed his shoulder.

 

"Did you have a plan?" the blue ranger asked softly.

 

Zack half-shrugged. "I have no idea what I'm doing," he answered, honest and raw and vulnerable.

 

Kim pressed into him. "We'll help," she promised, Trini squeezing his hand and not letting go, nodding.

 

"Okay," Zack said, forcing himself up. "Okay," he repeated, staring back down at the wood.

 

"I bet I can find a plan online," Billy said, pulling out his phone to check.

 

"Where'd you get the wood?" Jason asked.

 

"Reconstruction," Zack answered, looking up at their leader and expecting to be chastised but Jason just nodded. "I'll grab more if we need it."

 

It sucked, doing this really, really sucked, but having his friends with him helped him focus enough to at least get it done. Zack and Jason settled on the ground with Billy, following his careful instructions to cut and piece things together.

 

"What about a marker?" Kim asked, watching the boys work.

 

"Haven't gotten that far," Zack admitted, throat closing all over again.

 

Trini pushed forward to hug him. "We'll do it," she offered. "Kim and me, while you guys work on this, we'll make something."

 

Zack hugged his best friend tight, silently nodding his okay.

 

Trini nodded back, moving to Kim to grab a scrap piece of wood they could carve into for the marker.

 

"Where are you going to bury her?" Jason asked softly, holding the frame steadily for Billy -- three sides of the coffin constructed.

 

Zack sucked in a sharp breath. "I was thinking, in the woods up along the mountain. She used to love to go to the park, sit and smell nature, I think she'll like it there."

 

"And we can visit her there," Kim said, sharing a look with Jason. "Every day."

 

"Yeah," Zack said, having to clear his throat. "Yeah."

 

They fell silent after that, working to finish up, Billy asking a soft question now and then to make sure the dimensions would be big enough, but otherwise everyone focused on their task.

 

When it was done, Zack was exhausted and on the verge of tears again, but the coffin was ready.

 

"Here," Kim said, offering Zack the marker she and Trini had made. They'd carved "Loving Mother" onto the bottom portion, but left the top space blank for Zack to write in her name.

 

"Thanks," Zack said, looking around at all of them, knowing this was a shitty thing he'd asked them to do, so grateful to them for doing it. "I should get home," he said, realizing how late it'd gotten.

 

"What about this?" Jason asked, gesturing to the coffin.

 

Zack nodded. "I have to take it with me."

 

Billy frowned. "People will definitely stare at you if you just carry it home..."

 

"We can take my truck," Jason offered, looking to Zack for his okay.

 

"Yeah, okay," Zack agreed, moving to pick up the coffin, lid, and marker. His friends didn't move to help and he was grateful they seemed to know he had to do this.

 

They all walked to Jason's truck silently -- they'd all ridden together right after school when Zack had texted. Zack climbed into the back and set everything down, the rest getting inside the truck.

 

It took Jason only a few minutes to get them off the mountain trail and into the mobile home park, pulling as close to Zack's trailer as he could.

 

"Can we come in?" Trini asked Zack, wanting to see his mother, promise her that they'd all look after Zack for her.

 

Zack's eyes stung, but he nodded. "Yeah. But you gotta lose the beanie, and Jason, take off your shirt."

 

"Are red and yellow superstitious colors?" Billy questioned, remembering Zack's comment about those colors earlier.

 

Zack nodded, and Trini pulled off the beanie and tossed it into the truck, Jason not hesitating to follow suit with his shirt.

 

"Gimme a minute," Zack said, leaving them waiting and heading inside, grabbing one of his shirts for Jason and heading to his mom's room, relief washing over him at her steady breathing.

 

"Mom?" he whispered, sitting at the edge of her bed and pushing hair out of her face, loathe to wake her but knowing she'd want to say goodbye to his friends.

 

Mrs. Taylor stirred slowly, listening to Zack say that his friends wanted to see her, nodding that she was strong enough yet for this, to let them in, to offer them food and drink.

 

Zack nodded, moving to the kitchen and dumping a sleeve of crackers out on a plate, pouring out four cups of cold tea and setting them in the microwave to warm. He waited until they were done to move the food and drink into his mom's room before heading back out to his friends.

 

He tossed the shirt at Jason, who pulled it on gratefully. "Okay, let's get this into her room. She's awake right now, so you guys can say hi," he said, being strong for his mother.

 

He needed help maneuvering the coffin into the trailer, walking backwards and directing its placement on the floor alongside his mother's bed, letting his friends hover in her room.

 

Zack smiled at his mother, gentle hands helping her when she reached for him, shifting her up slowly and carefully so she could sit up. "Mom, my friends are here," he said gently.

 

"Offer them food and drink," his mother ordered, making Zack smile a bit because she was so strong, still fighting, still present and here with them.

 

"Please have tea, and there's crackers," Zack translated for his friends.

 

"We're good," Kim said, but Zack shook his head. "It's a cultural thing, she has to be a good host. Please."

 

They all shared a look and then slowly moved forward, picking up the mismatched mugs.

 

"Thank you," Trini said, the others murmuring their thanks as well.

 

"You welcome," Mrs. Taylor said, offering a weary smile.

 

"Mrs. Taylor," Jason said, setting his cup down gently and moving forward to stand right next to her and Zack. "I promise you, we'll take care of your son."

 

"We will," Trini echoed, new tears in her eyes.

 

"All of us," Kim nodded.

 

"He's one of us," Billy reaffirmed.

 

"Guys..." Zack said, throat tight.

 

"I promise," Jason repeated, taking her hand carefully, very conscious of his strength and how weak she was.

 

Mrs. Taylor looked at Zack, not understanding every word but knowing enough, listening to her son translate and the fresh grief in his eyes as he did so.

 

"Zack is a good boy," she said slowly, looking at his friends, at the tears in their eyes for a woman none of them knew, all because of their connection to her son. "You are good boys and girls. You take care of each other."

 

"We will," Jason said, tears burning his eyes. "I promise, we will." He squeezed her hand, moving back to squeeze Zack's shoulder and shift so Trini could move forward.

 

"Zack is my best friend," Trini said, fighting the tears in her voice. "We won't let you down." She leaned down to hug Zack's mom gently, Zack reaching out to squeeze her hand and pull her to him, holding her with one arm while Kim and then Billy made their promises to his mother to watch out for him in her place.

 

"C'mon, guys, let's let them rest," Jason said softly, knowing Zack must want as much time with his mom as possible, not wanting to rob him of that.

 

"You can text me, anytime," Trini said, Billy adding, "All of us."

 

Zack nodded, standing to give each of them a tight hug, throat too full of emotion to speak, watching silently as they left.

 

He tried to get his mom to eat some crackers while she was upright, but she hardly had the strength to chew and swallow them, settling for letting her sip at some tea until she was too tired to sit, carefully laying her back down.

 

He settled on her floor with her marker, taking careful hours to carve her full name in Mandarin into the wood. Once done, he climbed into her bed right behind her once more, laying with her and listening to her breathing and cursing the world for the unfairness of it all.


	2. Chapter 2

Two days later, Zack knew this was it. The team had been texting him off and on, but they respected that he wanted to spend time with his mother, not pushing for too much and just showing him that they were there for him.

 

His mom had been getting steadily weaker, and today when he woke from his fitful sleep he couldn't even get her to drink anything.

 

As the day wore on, her breathing seemed to get more and more labored, and Zack sat at her bedside and held her hand and told her everything.

 

He told her about finding in the power coins, about connecting with his friends, about becoming the Power Rangers. He told her about fighting Rita and the putties and Goldar, about training in the ship with Alpha-5 and Zordon.

 

"I'm a superhero, mom," Zack said, voice cracking. "But you're _my_ hero. I need you."

 

"You are my hero," his mother said, breathing labored. "You are so strong, my Zack."

 

"Please don't leave me," Zack whispered, crying silently, clinging to her hand, bringing it up to his face.

 

"I will always be with you," she said sadly, trying to smile for him. "You will not be alone."

 

"Mom... Mother," Zack said. " _Please_. I love you. Please."

 

"I love you," his mother said, cupping his face. "Always."

 

Zack didn't know how long they stayed like that, how long it took, but he watched every painful second, he watched his mother's eyes start to dim, listened to the long pauses between breaths grow.

 

"No. No, Mom, please, no," he begged, but she was so tired, she had been fighting for so long, and with a last rattling sigh, she closed her eyes and her arm went limp in his grip.

 

"No! Mom!" Zack cried, desperately holding her hand up, willing her chest to move. Breathe, dammit, breathe, "Mom, breathe, please, don't go, no Mom!"

 

He collapsed forward, hugging her body to him, but he knew she was gone. He sobbed into her hair, rocking back and forth, gut-wrenching agony filling him.

 

He cried for hours, eventually running out of tears and sobbing dry, his eyes and throat burning. With shaking hands, he slowly set her down, arranging her on her back. She looked like she was sleeping, almost, but he knew she wasn't, and he felt like he was dying himself with how much it _hurt_.

 

With blurry vision he stood, moving to her selected burial outfit. He wiped at his face harshly, picking up the towels he'd laid out. Reverently, he cleaned and dressed his mother's body, kneeling next to her bed and sobbing again when he was done.

 

Not knowing what time it was and not caring, he eventually fumbled for his phone, sending the text that had been sitting in his drafts for two days. He stood on wobbly legs, leaning to kiss her forehead gently before forcing himself into his room to change into white, to honor her as her son.

 

He returned to her room when he was done, sitting at the foot of her bed and silently grieving.

 

He didn't hear the knocking on the door, or his friends calling his name, but suddenly Trini was wrapping her arms around him and he was sobbing into her, holding on as tight as he could, vaguely able to feel the others trying to hold onto him, too.

 

When he was able to calm down enough to pull back, he saw that they were all there, and all wearing black like he'd asked. He wiped his eyes, knowing he needed to finish this for his mom. _Mom_...

 

"Just... give me a minute," he said hoarsely, the others reluctant to leave him, hovering outside his mother's room.

 

He turned back to his mom, heart constricting all over again, leaning over her and saying goodbye. He then carefully picked her up, moving to gently lay her inside the coffin and make sure she was arranged comfortably, eyes burning as he slid the lid in place.

 

With quick, jerky motions, he nailed the lid shut, not realizing he'd just been staring at the coffin and kneeling next to it clutching the hammer until Jason was gently prying it out of his hands.

 

Zack blinked up at him, eyes welling.

 

"C'mon," Jason said, carefully pulling him to his feet, everyone else back at his side again. Together they lifted the coffin and carried it outside, placing it into the bed of Jason's truck.

 

Zack was shocked to realize the sun was setting, it was twilight, it would be dark soon, riding in the back with his mother and Trini as Jason drove them up.

 

He'd never picked an actual spot, but everyone else seemed to have an idea so Zack let them lead. They all climbed out together, each person helping him carry the coffin, reaching a small, cleared area off the path.

 

"Is this okay?" Billy asked, and when Zack nodded, they all lowered the coffin. Billy and Jason picked up shovels -- where had those come from? -- and started digging, Zack standing between Kim and Trini and just watching.

 

He felt a bit numb, like he was watching from far away, watching the hole get bigger and deeper as night fell around them, until his friends were stopping.

 

"Zack," Trini nudged him to get his attention, nodding. "It's time," she said, tears staining her face.

 

With the girls help, Zack lowered his mother's coffin down to Jason and Billy, who settled it into the grave then jumped up.

 

Zack stared down at it, his four friends pressed close to him. He closed his eyes and began to say the funeral rite in Mandarin, praying for his mother and sending her into the afterlife.

 

He paused when he finished, opening his eyes to stare down into her grave. "I love you, Mom," he said, giving in to the tears again, his friends crying with him.

 

Eventually, he gave them the okay to fill in the grave, and soon the only way to tell she was there was the soft mound of disturbed dirt.

 

Someone handed Jason the marker, which he planted carefully, and then Billy and Kim were placing white flowers -- when had they gotten those? -- against it.

 

Zack blinked slowly, looking up at his friends. Kim and Trini were still crying, and Billy's and Jason's faces were stained with tears and dirt. He looked at them all, eyes landing on the marker.

 

"My mom is dead," he whispered, looking back up at them. "My mom is dead!" he howled, anguish in every part of him, collapsing to his knees, his friends quick to surround him, his grief all-consuming.

 

His mother was dead. She was never going to see him graduate, or get married, or have kids, or save the world, or make something of himself. She would never play chess with him again, or comfort him, or give him advice, or make him laugh. She was gone. His mom was _dead_.


	3. Chapter 3

Zack couldn't remember leaving her grave, or even getting into Jason's truck. He cried himself out until he was numb, barely there and letting his friends do whatever they wanted.

 

He had no idea how they got to Jason's house, or what Jason had told his parents, but he did remember someone helping him undress and switching into a simple tshirt and sweatpants, gentle hands guiding him down onto a bed, bodies piling in all around him.

 

Zack woke the next morning completely disoriented and not knowing where he was, in the middle of a pile of people. He blearily looked around and recognized his friends, recognized Jason's room, and then it hit him like a brick to the face.

 

His mom was dead.

 

He started shaking, limbs trembling beyond his control, hyperventilating and squeezing his eyes closed. Hands reached for him and he cried, rocking the bed with his grief.

 

When he could stop and force himself to breathe again, he found himself curled across Jason's and Kim's laps, with Billy and Trini pressed to his front, all their eyes a bit puffy and red.

 

"When's the last time you ate?" Jason asked gently, rubbing a hand up and down his arm.

 

"I--" Zack's voice cracked, scratchy and raw. "I don't know."

 

Kim frowned. "You should eat something."

 

"I'm not hungry," Zack said, leaning more into them.

 

"Zack," Trini said gently, worry and chastisement in that one word, and it was so much like his mother -- fond but firm -- that Zack's eyes welled again, the teen rubbing his fists against them.

 

"Okay," he agreed softly. Okay.

 

They started to pull back when Zack realized: "What did you tell your parents?" he asked Jason.

 

"The truth," Jason said simply.

 

Zack nodded, not sure if that was good or bad, not wanting to deal with any fake sympathy or pity. But apparently his friends didn't plan for him to deal with anyone, shifting him only enough to let Jason and Kim up.

 

Billy and Trini settled back on the bed with him while the other two disappeared, and if Zack tried he could hear the murmur of their voices downstairs but he blocked it out and curled up instead.

 

They came back some time later with trays piled with breakfast, and Trini coerced him into eating four waffles.

 

"Don't you guys... have school?" Zack asked at length, guilt flavoring his grief.

 

"Not today," Jason said, as if it was that simple, and for once, Zack didn't argue.

 

The trays were moved out of the way and everyone piled around him again, offering comfort the best they could.

 

He dozed for a while, mentally exhausted, fresh tears welling from somewhere deep within him every time he remembered: his mom was dead.

 

Eventually someone's stomach growled, signaling lunchtime. Just like before, he wasn't made to move. The food was brought to him and he was encouraged to eat -- not as much as a ranger appetite, but enough to satisfy his friends.

 

Zack pulled himself back when they tried to settle in again. "I have to clean out her stuff."

 

"Can't that wait?" Kim asked with a frown, reaching out to squeeze his ankle, the only part of him she could reach.

 

Zack shook his head. "I have to burn her clothes."

 

The others shared a glance, but Billy nodded. "I read about that."

 

"We should've... done it yesterday," Zack said, chest tight. His mom was dead and he was still disappointing her...

 

"Hey, it's okay," Trini said. "We'll do it today. Okay?"

 

Zack nodded, pushing himself up to stand, frowning down at himself -- these were not actually his clothes.

 

Jason stood and clapped Zack on his shoulder. "It's fine, you can borrow something else."

 

"We're going now?" Billy asked, glancing between the two.

 

Zack nodded. "I am, but you don't have to."

 

"Don't be stupid," Kim said, standing and grabbing a bag at the side of the room that he hadn't noticed, Zack looking around and realizing they all had bags here, at Jason's house, they'd planned to stay together. To keep their promise? Fuck. _Mom, I miss you so much_.

 

Jason had to dig around to find something in his dresser than wasn't red, not sure if that color was still out and not wanting to upset Zack, tossing the new shirt and pants at him, watching him fumble to catch it.

 

"Thanks," Zack said softly, managing to catch the clothes, letting someone push him to the bathroom. He caught a glance at himself in the mirror and quickly averted his eyes, fuck he looked like shit... He changed quickly, heading back to Jason's room, tapping his foot a bit as he waited, anxiety building up, just wanted this done.

 

He had to wait in the truck once they finally started moving, sitting in the back squished between Kim and Trini, with Billy riding shotgun.

 

Jason finally climbed in after throwing something into the back and then handing something to Billy, the teen humming as he took whatever it was and then they were going.

 

It was quiet, but not in a bad way, and Zack appreciated it, stomach knotting when they got to his and his mom's trailer. He knew she'd be gone, he knew she _was_ gone, but that didn't stop the small spark of hope that when he opened the door she'd be there safe and sound.

 

He led the way inside, part of him processing that the latch was broken but his feet carrying him past unconcerned, going to her room and just... standing there.

 

There was her bed, and her jewelry, and all the little trinkets and knick knacks Zack had collected for her over the years. But she wasn't _here_.

 

Billy offered him a garbage bag, and oh, that's what Jason had grabbed. Zack took it, glancing up at them before moving to her dresser and breathing out heavily when he opened it.

 

Trini and Kim moved to the closet while Jason and Billy helped him stabilize his bag, dumping all her clothing inside. He took huge arm-fulls, dumping everything, moving down the drawers and trying to not really look at what he was doing, scooping out underclothes and tops, pausing at the bottom drawer.

 

There was something under the clothes.

 

He pulled fabric away, dumping it into the bag, finding a small photo album tucked away. He drew in a sharp breath, reaching for it and collapsing heavily onto his mother's bed. With trembling fingers, he opened it up.

 

It was him. Dozens of pictures of him as a child, a baby to a toddler to a kid. He was always grinning in them, and sometimes his mother was in the picture, too, looking so young and healthy.

 

He had to set the album aside so that he didn't ruin it, crying again, burying his face in his hands, feeling his friends pressing close. _Mom_.

 

"Do you want to bring some of your stuff back?" Jason asked softly, once he'd calmed down.

 

"Wh-what?" Zack croaked, not understanding.

 

"You can stay with me," Jason said, smiling gently, everyone nodding encouragingly. "I talked to my parents, it's fine. You don't have to stay here by yourself right now, you can stay with me."

 

"I-I can't," Zack said, not wanting to be a bigger burden than he already was, not wanting pity.

 

"Zack," Trini said. "You know I'd have you at my place in an instant."

 

Zack scrubbed at his face, nodding and leaning into her because yeah of course, crazy girl.

 

"But I can't," Trini continued. "So you should stay with J."

 

Zack met her eyes when he turned his head. "You'll drown here alone," she whispered, tears welling.

 

Zack rubbed at her tears. "Hey, don't cry over me," he said. "'M fine. I'll... I'll stay with J for a few days, okay?" He glanced up at Jason -- was that really okay? -- but the teen just smiled and nodded.

 

Trini relaxed into him, glad he was giving in. "Okay."

 

"Okay," Zack repeated, looking up at them all. "Let me grab some stuff, some clothes -- don't wanna ruin your whole wardrobe," he joked lamely.

 

"Ew, Zack cooties," Jason teased back lightly.

 

Kim laughed. "I think we all have Zack cooties from last night."

 

"Gross," Trini smiled, nudging Zack.

 

"Hey, you should count yourselves lucky for getting to share a bed with me," Zack said, pretending to be affronted, grinning when Billy announced he didn't mind having Zack cooties.

 

"Blue's my favorite, the rest of you can go home," Zack said, standing and slinging an arm around Billy.

 

Jason, Kim, and Trini all made noises of outrage and protest, but they were all smiling at him, glad to see him still being him.

 

They went to his room, bagging up some clothes and things he favored, Zack slipping the photo album into the bag as well.

 

"Is the train car okay for the bonfire?" Jason asked Zack, wanting to make sure they did this right.

 

Zack nodded that that was okay, and they all piled in again and headed up. It took no time at all for them to build a good-sized fire, and Zack picked up the one bag that held all his mother's clothes, gripping so tightly he put his fingers through the material.

 

He moved to the fire and upended the bag, dumping out all the clothes, watching them begin to catch, to start to burn, letting the empty bag fall to the ground.

 

They didn't say anything, just sitting with Zack and watching the fire burn, Zack's mind filling in all the times he'd seen his mother in these clothes, their adventures when he was a kid and her declining health later on, how she'd tried to still dress every morning to help him get ready for school, how he'd started having to help her, how eventually she gave in and stayed in soft sleep clothes he changed for her every few days.

 

He watched it all go up in smoke and leaned into his friends and cried for his mother.

 

Eventually, the fire started to die, clothes burned down. Zack shifted, realizing he was stiff and sore from sitting in one place on the hard ground so long, more guilt filling him because his friends hadn't moved, either, god, he was such a fuck up...

 

They all wobbled into each other when they stood, Kim putting the fire out and stomping down any lingering embers before Trini took his hand and started walking back to Jason's truck, pulling him along with her.

 

Zack frowned at her when she pushed him to take shotgun. "We gotta go home, check in," she said sadly, wishing she could just stay with him but knowing she'd already pushed things a lot by not going home last night, and skipping school today.

 

"Oh," Zack said, nodding. "Yeah." That made sense, they'd stayed with him last night and skipped school today. "You guys aren't in trouble, right?"

 

Kim glanced at Billy, both of them shaking their heads. "We're fine," she promised.

 

"I texted my mom, it's good," Billy added.

 

Zack wasn't 100% sure he believed them, but he nodded anyway because who was he to tell them what to do, right? If they wanted to hang with him, they would -- it wasn't because of their promise to his mom, they liked him. Right?

 

He climbed into the truck, Jason taking off once everyone was inside, heading to Billy's first.

 

Billy reached up to squeeze Zack's shoulder. "I know how you're feeling, at least a little bit. You can call me whenever."

 

Zack flushed, offering his fist. "Thanks, man." Billy tapped their fists together and then he was gone, walking up the path to his house.

 

Kim was next, squirming around the seat to hug him tight. Zack closed his eyes and held her close before letting go. "Text me," Kim demanded, waiting for Zack to nod before sharing a look with Jason and leaving.

 

Zack turned to face Trini, grasping her hand when she reached for him, the truck silent until Jason pulled to a stop.

 

"If it's bad, I'll come back," Jason told her firmly, giving her a look.

 

"Me too, crazy girl," Zack promised, "I hope you don't get in too much trouble because of me."

 

Trini pushed forward to hug him. "You're worth it," she mumbled, squeezing him tight.

 

Zack laughed humorlessly, but he held her close, reluctant to let go but eventually he had to, watching her square her shoulders and march up to her house. You go crazy girl, give em hell.

 

"Take out?" Jason asked, turning towards town.

 

"I'm good, man, you don't gotta babysit me," Zack said, staring out the window.

 

"That's great, but I'm hungry," Jason replied easily.

 

Zack glanced at him -- Red would get sick of him eventually, might as well enjoy it while it lasted. "Yeah, okay."

 

Jason grinned, taking them to the pizza place, getting two large pies and convincing Zack to sit in and eat it, flicking his straw wrapper at him and laughing when he got it flicked right back at him and it hit his face, glad to provide a distraction for a while.

 

It was dark out by the time they made their way back to Jason's house, anxiety building up in Zack's gut as they walked inside. "Go up to my room, I'll be right there," Jason said, nodding at the stairs.

 

Zack hesitated, but Jason's dad calling out for him solidified his decision and he took the stairs two at a time and tried to pretend he wasn't hiding.

 

Zack sat on the bed because he wasn't sure what else to do, waiting long minutes before Jason finally appeared, carrying his bag of stuff and kicking his door closed behind him.

 

"Hey, so, I've got detention tomorrow," Jason said carefully, setting the bag down. "And so do you. Think you'll come?"

 

Zack shrugged. The little effort he did put into school was for his mom, and now that she was gone... what was the point? It wasn't like anyone actually wanted him there.

 

"C'mon, man, Kim's been designing a band for us and I need your help reigning her in," Jason coaxed.

 

Zack snorted. "Good luck with that," he said, smiling a bit.

 

Jason chuckled. "We outnumber her if you come."

 

Since he didn't know what he'd do with himself if he didn't go -- it's not like there was work to be found in the town lately, what with reconstruction still going on and the mine empty -- so he shrugged. "Sure."

 

"Good," Jason said, grinning. "C'mon, we can watch a movie on my laptop."


	4. Chapter 4

Zack managed to avoid Jason's family for all of Saturday, going with him to detention while they all slept and then staying out around town with their friends afterwards, except Trini who was grounded for the weekend but who was texting him often to make up for it.

 

They got back late enough that Zack could run upstairs again without having to see anyone else.

 

Sunday, though, Zack woke up to the sound of knocking on Jason's bedroom door, blinking his eyes open just as it was opening and freezing, every muscle tensed and ready to flee.

 

"Jason?" Mrs. Scott said, raising at eyebrow at Zack when she met his eyes, taking in the sight of him in her sons bed with him, Jason dead yet to the world.

 

"Jason," Mrs. Scott said more firmly, and Zack ducked his head quickly, kicking Jason harder than he probably needed to.

 

"Wh-what?" Jason asked, yawning and freezing when he saw his mom. Shit.

 

"I'd like us to have breakfast together today, please, before your father and I leave for work. Oh, and I need you to watch Pearl," Mrs. Scott said, waiting for him to nod before turning to leave, pushing the door fully open. "Let's leave this open from now on," she added, walking away.

 

Zack groaned, burying his face in the pillow, cursing at himself in Mandarin.

 

Jason's face was bright red, but he patted at Zack's shoulder. "It's fine, c'mon, let's have breakfast."

 

"I thought you said they were cool with this," Zack hissed at him, embarrassed and guilty.

 

"They are," Jason promised, getting up. "I'll just remind them that we're just friends, it's fine."

 

"Your face matches your armor," Zack grunted, eying him and watching the red burn a bit brighter.

 

"Shut up!" Jason threw a pillow at him.

 

"Didn't know you were into guys," Zack added, catching the pillow easily.

 

"I don't care if you're feeling better, this is not pick on Jason day," Jason ordered, pointing a warning finger at him and trying to be stern.

 

Zack laughed a bit. "Whatever you say, bossman."

 

Jason's shoulders sagged a little at the nickname. "Good," he said, unable to stop smiling even though he was beyond embarrassed but Zack was laughing again.

 

Zack moved to his bag to find clothes. "Seriously, though, guys, huh?"

 

Jason cleared his throat. "Uh, yeah. Is that... a problem?"

 

"Nah," Zack said easily, pulling out what he needed. "Me too. Dibs on the bathroom first!" he said, heart racing as he took off to the bathroom. He changed quickly, using the spare toothbrush Jason had shoved at him (black, of course), before finally looking at himself in the mirror.

 

He did not look great. His eyes were a bit bloodshot, his hair was a mess, and overall he just looked like shit.

 

_My mom is dead_ , he thought, watching his mouth pull down and his eyes well. _My mom is dead, but she would want me to be a good guest. Which I have not been. So suck it up!_

 

He washed his face with some cold water and went back to Jason's room, the other teen already dressed. "Okay?" Jason asked, the quip about Zack liking anything human dying on his tongue when he took one look at him, no trace of laughter there now.

 

"Yeah," Zack said, trying his best to smile, but apparently not doing that great because Jason squeezed his shoulder before dashing to the bathroom himself and then leading the way downstairs.

 

Jason's parents and sister were already at the table when they walked in, everyone looking at him.

 

"Please, help yourselves," Mrs. Scott said, gesturing to the pans of food on the stove and the nearby plates.

 

Zack took a breath to steady himself. "Thank you for letting me stay these past few days," he said, looking between the two adults.

 

"You're welcome anytime, Zack," Mrs. Scott said gently.

 

Zack just nodded, letting Jason elbow him and guide him to the food. He took the plate Jason handed him, taking a small portion of everything, filling his plate about halfway and following Jason to sit.

 

Jason reached for the orange juice on the table, pouring his own glass and raising an eyebrow at Zack. Yeah?

 

Zack shook his head, picking up his fork and taking a small bite, stomach in knots. "This is delicious, thank you," he said to his food, trying hard to be a good guest, make his mom proud.

 

"I bet Pearl helped," Jason said, nudging his toes into his sister's leg under the table, earning a grin.

 

"I did!" Pearl said proudly, glancing shyly at Jason's friend. She knew why he was here, but mom and dad said not to talk about it in front of him.

 

"Thank you," Zack repeated, glancing up at her quickly.

 

"You're welcome!" Pearl smiled, resuming eating.

 

"Jason, you need to stay around the house today, I'm taking the boat out and your mom's picking up a spare shift," Mr. Scott said.

 

Jason nodded. "Okay."

 

"I don't need a babysitter," Pearl protested.

 

"Who said he's the one in charge, huh? You gotta watch him for us today," Mr. Scott said, winking at his daughter.

 

Though it was clearly meant as a tease, Zack felt Jason stiffen next to him, knocking their legs together briefly.

 

The family made idle chatter, talking about school and work and relatives. Zack let the conversation just go over his head, picking at his food. He missed breakfasts with his mom, eating and laughing and playing and listening to her stories...

 

"Zack," Mr. Scott said. "Zack?"

 

Zack jolted, realizing he'd been ignoring Jason's dad -- stupid, don't be rude! -- looking up to meet his eye.

 

"Listen, I had to take care of my dad's estate a few years back," Mr. Scott began. "So I know how blind the paperwork can make you."

 

"Dad--" Jason started, frowning, but Mr. Scott just talked right over him.

 

"Jason says you have a trailer, now. If you need help with that, or anything else, let me know, all right? We'll help you get everything sorted," Mr. Scott said.

 

Zack stiffened, silent for a beat too long, hurriedly bowing his head shallowly. "Thank you, I appreciate that," he said.

 

He thought he had his voice under control, but Jason was alternating between glaring at his dad and shooting worried looks his way, and he really, really couldn't be here right now.

 

"May I be excused?" he asked politely, hardly waiting for Mrs. Scott to confusedly say of course before he was out of his seat and leaving the room, heading upstairs and shutting himself in the bathroom, just trying to breath.

 

Fuck, he hadn't thought about any of that. He needed to... get a death certificate, right? And stop her benefits plan for the medication, the stipend from the government, switch the trailer to his name...

 

He sank to the ground, back against the wall, knees to his chest, hands tugging at his hair, trying and failing to not cry. God, all he did was cry lately, he was pathetic, no one would want to hang out with him, he'd be all alone. Fear constricted his chest at the thought, his breath wheezing with each inhale, taking shorter and shorter breaths.

 

_What am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to do what do I do I can't do this Mom why did you leave me all alone I can't, I can't I can't I can't..._

 

The door opened with a loud bang, smacking into the wall, Jason flying through it and kneeling in front of him.

 

"Breathe, Zack, we'll figure it out, just breathe, okay, breathe," Jason said, reaching out to grip his arms, to anchor him. "Breathe with me, c'mon," he urged, taking slow breaths, holding them before exhaling, feeling Zack trembling as he tried to copy him.

 

"C'mon, that's it, you're okay, breathe," Jason said, heart racing, relief flooding him when Zack started breathing more normally and was calming down.

 

Zack swiped a clumsy hand over his face. "Sorry. I'm such an idiot, I don't mean to keep doing this, I should be stronger than this."

 

"What? Zack, no. My dad was out of line, I told him you weren't ready to talk about it, I'm sorry."

 

"He's right though, there's probably a shitton of legal stuff, I didn't even think about that."

 

"Don't worry okay, Billy's on it," Jason soothed, tugging him up off the bathroom floor and guiding him to his room, kicking the door shut, his parents be damned.

 

"Billy?" Zack questioned, feeling exhausted.

 

"Yeah, his mom has been helping him, they know what to do," Jason assured.

 

Right... Because Billy's dad was dead, too. But he still had his mom, and Zack's mom was... "Okay," he said hoarsely.

 

"You didn't really eat... want me to make something else?" Jason offered. "They're gone, they left for work."

 

"No, I'm okay," Zack said.

 

"Zack..."

 

"Don't want you burning the house down," Zack tried to joke.

 

"Rude," Jason said, sitting next to him and knocking their shoulders together. "Pearl would make you something, I think she's got a crush on you."

 

"Wh-what?" Zack asked, not having expected that.

 

"Mhm, oh yeah, she kept giving you these shy glances at the table," Jason grinned, playing it up. "Zack Taylor is a ladies' man, all right."

 

"Hey, I'm everyone's man," Zack said automatically, grinning at bit and knocking back into Jason.

 

Jason laughed. "C'mon, let's grab the TV downstairs before she gets to it."

 

Zack followed Jason back downstairs, apprehensive but his parents really were gone. Jason hooked up his system and they played video games for hours, until Pearl came in and plopped into Jason's lap, burying her face and whispering that she was hungry.

 

"Lunchtime?" Jason asked Zack, pausing the game.

 

"Sure," Zack said, glancing at the siblings. "I can cook? To make up for breakfast?"

 

"Dude, it's fine, you're the guest," Jason said, standing with his sister.

 

"No, c'mon, my mom has a great chicken recipe, she's the best cook," Zack said, mouth catching up with his brain when Jason gave him a look loaded with sympathy. Fuck. _Mom_.

 

"What do you think, Pearl, want to try Zack's cooking?" Jason asked her, smiling when she nodded. "Okay, how about you grab an apple to tide you over 'til he's done, okay?"

 

He waited for her to run off and retreat again with her snack. "You sure?" he asked Zack.

 

"Yeah," Zack said, heart aching. "Yeah," he repeated, getting up and moving to Jason's kitchen.

 

"How can I help?" Jason asked.

 

"You can find the stuff I'll need," Zack said, Jason helping him get out ingredients and utensils and soon they had the rice cooking and chicken browning. Zack shifted the chicken onto a baking tray to finish cooking in the oven, using the pan to make up a sauce.

 

Wait, was it a teaspoon or a tablespoon of soy? And how much vinegar?

 

He hesitated, staring at the pan, trying to remember, giving it his best guess and tasting it but it wasn't quite right, trying to fix it and overcorrecting, stubbornly continuing to try to get it right.

 

"I think that's maybe enough sauce," Jason said cautiously when half the bottle of soy and nearly three-quarters of vinegar were gone.

 

"But it's not -- it's not right!" Zack said, frustrated with himself, wishing he could just ask him mom, why hadn't he written this down.

 

He turned the flame off, Jason pulling out the chicken before it burned and putting a cautious hand on Zack's shoulder, gut tightening to find him trembling.

 

"It's not _right_ ," Zack said hoarsely. "I can't -- I can't remember and it's not right, it's not fair, it's not fair, it's not fairit'snotfair--"

 

Jason pulled him into a tight hug, letting him cry. He didn't notice Pearl peaking through the doorway with wide eyes, only glancing down when she bolted over to them and tried to hug Zack, too.

 

"It's okay," she said, squeezing them both around their legs.

 

Zack stiffened, forcing himself to calm down and release his death grip on Jason, scrubbing tiredly at his face and glancing down. "Hero streak must be genetic," he mumbled, shocking a short laugh from Jason.

 

Zack took a deep breath. "I'm okay," he said, glancing down at Pearl when she pulled back and blushed at him. "Thank you. I think I ruined your lunch, though."

 

"Nah, look. The chicken and rice are done," Jason said, waving a hand at the food.

 

"Yeah, but--"

 

"And look, I have the perfect sauce right here," he added, going to the fridge and pulling out a bottle of ketchup. "Get some plates, Pearl?"

 

Zack stared at Jason, chuckling a little. "Okay, white boy. Okay."

 

Jason pretended to be insulted, plating up the food and helping Pearl set the table, the three of them eating.

 

"That was really good, thank you Zack!" Pearl said in a rush.

 

"You're welcome," Zack grinned.

 

Pearl hopped up to set her plate in the sink before running off back to her room.

 

Jason got up to start on the dishes, shooting Zack a look when he stood, too. "No way, man, cook doesn't get cleanup duty."

 

"Wasn't exactly much of a cook," Zack argued.

 

Jason shook his head. "Better than what I coulda made, and we'll even have enough for dinner later. Now go, text Trini or something.

 

"Fine," Zack said, leaving him to clean up and checking in with everyone else instead. He asked Billy about the legal stuff, getting a promise that he had it under control and would let him know when he needed him, and he let Kim know he had definitely replaced her as Pearl's favorite of Jason's friends.

 

And he let Trini know that he had a panic attack at breakfast and broke down at lunch and he just missed her so _much_.


	5. Chapter 5

When Jason's parents got home, it was only a little awkward, and they thankfully didn't try to talk to him about his mom again, though they did imply heavily that he needed to go to school with Jason.

 

Considering they were letting him stay in their house and eat their food and stuff, he conceded to the whole school thing, even though he really didn't want to.

 

He had to smile a little though at seeing his friends, all of them acting like they hadn't seen him for weeks. "Guys, c'mon, I know I'm the best, but you're suffocating me," he said, wiggling out of their holds though Trini remained latched onto him.

 

"Shut up," Trini said.

 

"C'mon, Z, we missed you! Oh and you, too, Jason," Kim added cheekily, getting a shove.

 

"We're glad you're here is all," Billy said, smiling at him.

 

Zack smiled back, not missing the look Kim and Jason shared, wondering if something was going on there or what, hugging Trini.

 

"Well let's get this over with," he sighed, all of them reluctantly heading to class.

 

Zack was bouncing in his seat by the time lunch finally came around, bolting from the room. He headed to the cafeteria to find his friends, not spotting anyone yet.

 

He got onto the lunch line instead, getting his free state-supported meal that looked like crap as always, and made his way to the table they usually all took.

 

He didn't see the jock slipping his foot out to trip him until he was already stumbling, food tray splatting to the ground though Zack managed to catch himself before landing on top of it.

 

"Watch it, asshole," he growled, straightening up.

 

"You watch it, loser. Why do you even bother coming here, it's not like you'll graduate," the jock said in disgust.

 

"Yeah? Well I bet I'm still smarter than you, airhead," Zack taunted.

 

"Shut up, faggot!" another jock jeered.

 

"Ohh, now I'm scared," Zack said sarcastically. "Since you assholes ruined my lunch, looks like you're buying me a new one."

 

The jocks laughed at that. "In your dreams! Now run along, like a good little outcast."

 

Zack shoved at the seated jock who'd tripped him. "I don't think you heard me."

 

The jock stood up, looming over him. "Get out of here before I make you," he threatened.

 

Zack just laughed, spreading his arms. "Bring it, tough guy," he said, easily ducking the jock's punch and throwing one of his own that connected, center mass.

 

"Zack!" Jason yelled, the rest of the Rangers running over as the jock charged him, managing to knock Zack off his feet, Jason stopping the jock from kicking him while he was down.

 

"That's enough," Jason ordered, Trini pulling Zack to his feet.

 

"Can't even fight your own battles?" the jock taunted, Zack trying to surge forward only for Trini and Billy to stop him.

 

"Fuck you!" Zack cursed.

 

"Yeah, that's right," the jock continued, watching the nerd and the new girl trying to pull Zack away. "Run home to mommy like a good little boy."

 

Zack froze, every muscle tensing, time seeming to stop as a wave of fury built in him, at this asshole picking on the weak, at this fucking snot-nosed white picket fence middle-class white boy looking down at him while getting handed everything, when Zack had _nothing_ , when Zack had just lost his _everything_.

 

"FUCK YOU!" Zack screamed, blazing anger in his eyes, fists clenched so tight his nails were cutting half-moons into his palms. He flew out of Trini's and Billy's grasps, Kim getting him around the waist for a few seconds before he shook her off, too.

 

The jock took a single step backwards in sudden fear, and Zack would've jumped him, would've _ended him_ , had Jason not realized exactly what was going to happen and turned lightning fast to catch Zack, bracing them both and actually cracking the tile with the strength needed to do so.

 

"No! Zack, he's not worth it! He's not worth it, Zack!" Jason yelled, struggling to hold Zack back, who was yelling obscenities and had devolved into cursing in Mandarin (well, Jason thought he was cursing), the other Rangers helping him hold Zack back, all of them taking some hits as Zack struggled.

 

"What a freak!" someone said, a few people laughing. "He's crazy! Get him out of here!"

 

"Let's go," Jason said, pushing Zack backwards a couple steps. "Let's go!" he said sharper, an order, Zack's fury turning to him for one blinding second until he seemed to deflate on himself, letting them pull him towards the doors.

 

"Keep that freak on a leash, Scott!" someone yelled, and Jason actually growled, ushering his team completely out of the building.

 

"Fuck!" Zack yelled, shrugging them all off once they were outside, pacing. "That fucking--!"

 

"We know," Trini said darkly, revenge clear in her eyes.

 

"You're bleeding," Billy noted, watching crimson drip from Zack's hands.

 

"What? Zack," Kim tried to reach for him but he shrugged away from her.

 

"I'm fine," he bit out, hurt and embarrassed and angry, god, so angry.

 

"C'mon, I'll take you home so you can cool off," Jason said, taking a step towards Zack.

 

Zack whirled on him. "You! You fucking -- I had it under control!"

 

"Under control? You're lucky you're not suspended right now!" Jason said, incredulous.

 

"I don't take orders from you!" Zack continued.

 

"Zack--"

 

"No, dammit!" Zack said, angry and hurt and lashing out when he saw Kim and Jason exchange that look again, knowing now that they weren't flirting -- that look was about _him_ , about how to handle _him_.

 

"Zack, let me see your hands," Trini tried, but he took another step away from them.

 

"I see you," Zack said, voice accusing. "Sharing those looks. What are we gonna do about Zack now, he's gone crazy again. Don't think I don't fucking see you, acting like -- like the _mom and dad_ of our little group!"

 

Kim and Jason both reeled backwards. "No, Zack, that's not--" Kim tried, Zack shouting over her.

 

"I'm not a charity case! Just because you promised her doesn't mean I want your pity!" Zack yelled, voice cracking and no, fuck that, he was done crying.

 

He whirled around and started to walk away.

 

"Zack! Where are you going?" Trini demanded, all of them following after him.

 

He didn't stop moving. "Go to class, Trin."

 

"Zack," Billy tried.

 

"You too, Billy. All of you. I'm done for the day."

 

"You can't just run away," Jason said.

 

Zack whirled around, stopping abruptly. "J, give me one more order and I'm gonna be fighting you next."

 

Jason glared, opening his mouth but Kim elbowed him. "Where are you going?" she asked instead.

 

Zack glared at her. "The Pit. Since you won't let me kill morons, I'm going to kill some putties until I feel better, or Alpha-5 runs out of putties."

 

Trini relaxed a bit -- he'd be safe in the ship, at least, and Alpha-5 wouldn't let him hurt himself. "I'll come with you."

 

Zack softened just a fraction. "No, go to class. You get into enough trouble over me."

 

"But--"

 

"No," Zack said, tone final, hands still curled into fists. He glanced at them all, meeting their eyes, before turning around and walking away, and this time, no one followed him.


	6. Chapter 6

"Master Zack, I think maybe it's time to--"

 

"Again! Gimme 4 this time," Zack ordered, bouncing on the balls of his feet, a nice bruise already forming on his cheek from a hit he'd failed to block, knuckles split and bleeding, but the anger was still burning bright inside him.

 

"Master Zack, I don't--"

 

"Let him train," Zordon said. Alpha-5 sighed. This was not good. "Yes, sir."

 

Zack grinned when the putties took shape, looming around him. "Let's play," he said, lashing out, no finesse, no armor, just his fists. He tore off an arm and used it to beat down a putty, kicking its head off and square into and then straight through another one, both crumbling. The two left circled him before attacking together from opposite sides, and Zack laughed, leaping up to kick them both and flip back onto his feet, ducking a slow punch and rolling to up under the other, pounding his hand through it. He whirled and caught a glancing blow to his collarbone, punching rapid-fire in retaliation until the last one crumbled.

 

"Again!"

 

Alpha-5 watched Zack fight the putties, nearly able to see the anger clinging to him like a second skin, not knowing what had happened but knowing it must be bad for Zack to be in such a mood. He winced when Zack took another hit and acted like he didn't even feel it, continuing to fight.

 

The teen's phone went off in his jacket, which had been abandoned hours ago, and Alpha-5 glanced at Zack before carefully pulling it out, noting the several messages from the rest of the team.

 

He selected the most recent, one from Jason, asking if he'd cooled down yet. Alpha-5 hummed, glancing at Zack before tapping a quick reply. _Zack needs you._

He replaced the phone and left the Pit, moving to the ship's water entrance and waiting.

 

He'd barely hit five minutes when Jason was diving through the water, pushing himself as fast as possible, landing with a splash. "Where is he?" he demanded.

 

Alpha-5 made a whirring noise that was his sigh. "The Pit, he's been there for hours. He needs to stop, he is hurting himself."

 

Jason's stomach dropped, realizing he's messed up -- again. He shouldn't have let Zack come alone... "Thanks, Alpha. I'll take care of him," he said, moving quickly to the Pit.

 

Zack was getting pounded on by a putty, in a swarm of them, and Jason didn't even think, leaping into the Pit and fighting them off him.

 

"End sim!" he shouted once he reached Zack at the center, the putties collapsing into nothing.

 

"What the hell, Jason, I wasn't done!" Zack said, pushing himself up from where he'd collapsed when the putties disappeared.

 

"You're done," Jason said, looking him over.

 

"Fuck that, bring 'em back!" Zack yelled, glaring at the ceiling. "Bring them back, I said! What, you only listen to me when he's not here?!"

 

Zack cursed at Zordon in Mandarin and hoped he could translate every word, turning glaring eyes onto Jason.

 

"Why are you here?" Zack asked.

 

"To check on you, and clearly, I shouldn't have let you stay here alone so long," Jason said, waving a hand at him.

 

"I'm fine," Zack said dangerously.

 

"Your hands are bleeding and I'm pretty sure some of those fingers are broken," Jason said. "Your face is covered in bruising, and you're favoring your right side."

 

Zack scowled at him. "See? Totally fine."

 

"Zack," Jason said, reaching out but Zack slapped his hand away.

 

"You know what, I'm not fine, I'm fucking pissed in fact," Zack said.

 

"Don't let that idiot get to you--"

 

"You're the one getting to me!" Zack exploded. "You're not the boss of me, Jason Scott, mighty Red Ranger! So quit acting like it! This whole fucking thing is bullshit, Zordon and the fucking ship listening to you over me, we are both Power Rangers, or have I been demoted?! And that _idiot_ and every other fucking middle-class stuck up ass at that school can suck my dick, okay? Those fuckers with their perfect families and both parents and 2.5 siblings and a dog and a white picket fence, who have never worked a day in their lives, who don't know the meaning of the words _cold_ or _hungry_... fuck them. Fuck them! They have everything and they still want to fucking pick at me when I have nothing?"

 

"You have us, you have the team," Jason said.

 

"Do I really, though?" Zack asked bitterly, anger turning inward. "We never hung out so much, J. Never. None of us. And then my... and now, you all can't get enough of me. And I have to wonder, do they just feel guilty for promising to look out for me?"

 

"What? Zack, of course not, we're your friends--"

 

"Yeah, well, I'm suffocating right in front of you and no one's even noticed!" Zack yelled, pulling at his hair. "I'm going crazy, man, I can't do this. I'm just one big fucking disappointment after another and I'm just so fucking angry, at the world, at myself, and mostly at her for leaving me! She left me alone! I have no one and it's her fault, she should have fought harder, I gave her everything!"

 

"Zack," Jason whispered, heartbroken for his friend. "She loved you."

 

"She left me!" Zack yelled, angry tears in his eyes. "God I am so _sick_ of crying!"

 

"It's okay to cry--" Alpha-5 tried hesitantly, shutting up when Zack turned on him.

 

"What do you know, you're a robot," Zack insulted.

 

"Hey, don't take it out on him, he's worried about you, we all are," Jason said, trying to take a step closer.

 

"You wanna help me?" Zack asked, turning to Alpha-5 and getting a hesitant nod. "Yeah, you wanna help? Then bring my mom back!"

 

"Zack..."

 

"Bring her back! She's gone and I can't do this without her, so just, bring her back!" Zack yelled. "Bring her back!"

 

"I don't understand," Alpha-5 said, confused, looking between the teens.

 

"MY MOM IS DEAD!" Zack roared, hitting Jason when he tried to hug him but the Red Ranger refused to let go, and as he had more often than not lately, Zack found himself sobbing into his arms.

 

Jason guided them to the edge to sit, holding Zack close and closing his eyes to stop his own tears from falling. What was he supposed to do, Zack was drowning and he didn't know how to fix it.

 

Zack's body shook with the force of his sobs, clinging to Jason with broken and bleeding fingers, crying into him until his tears ran out and it was just dry sobs, continuing until he'd nearly cried himself to sleep, swaying where he sat.

 

"You'll be okay, Zack, I'm here. We're here for you," Jason said, just holding him tight and letting him cry. When it seemed like he was done, he pulled back gently, reaching for one of Zack's hands and carefully untangling it from his shirt, pain echoed in his chest when Zack whined.

 

"I know," Jason said, pulling on joints to set them straight again, fixing both of Zack's hands though they were swollen and bleeding sluggishly.

 

Alpha-5 disappeared and returned with their first aid supplies, helping Jason clean up blood and bandage injuries. Jason coaxed Zack to lift his shirt, revealing an impressive motley of bruising on his chest and stomach, his right leg tensed and knee overextended.

 

They patched up what they could, Jason frowning at Zack's face. "You're gonna have a nice shiner," he said, fingertips skimming the bruising. "Why didn't you morph?"

 

"Was too angry," Zack admitted softly. "I just wanted to hit something."

 

"Trust me, I know the feeling. But next time, morph first, okay? I don't know how we're explaining this to my parents," Jason said.

 

Zack's heart sank. "I don't have to come home with you."

 

"Don't be stupid, we'll figure something out," Jason said, standing and helping Zack up as well, keeping a steadying arm around him.

 

He gathered up the rest of Zack's stuff, shooting off a quick text to everyone else that he had Zack and was taking him home and would explain later, leading them both to the water entrance and helping Zack up and through, staying close to make sure he didn't fall.

 

"Where's your truck?" Zack asked after they'd been walking a while.

 

"I ran," Jason admitted.

 

"That worried, huh?" Zack tried to tease, but it just came out raw instead.

 

"Yeah," Jason answered softly. "Of course."

 

"...Thanks."


	7. Chapter 7

Jason managed to sneak Zack into the house without his parents or Pearl seeing him, keeping him in his room for the rest of the night and just bringing dinner up to him.

 

"What'd you tell them?" Zack asked as he ate, actually hungry.

 

Jason shrugged. "That you'd had a rough day, needed space."

 

Zack shook his head a little, amazed that had worked. He finished eating and settled back to watch J work on homework -- "Can't exactly hold a pen right now," "And whose fault is that?" -- dozing, feeling like he hadn't slept in ages.

 

Jason left briefly to say good night to his family so that they didn't come into the room and see Zack, and Zack took the opportunity to change and get into bed, raising an eyebrow at Jason when he closed the door upon his return.

 

"What?" Jason asked, shutting the light and climbing into his bed, using his cell phone as a flashlight.

 

"Dude, your parents," Zack said, nodding to the door.

 

Jason rolled his eyes. "They'll get over it."

 

"When they kick me out, I'll remind you you said that," Zack said.

 

"They won't kick you out," Jason said, and his voice was so sure, so confident and even, that Zack relaxed a little. "They'd just make me sleep on the floor or something."

 

"Sweet, more leg room," Zack joked, grinning.

 

"For me, yeah," Jason shot back, grinning, too.

 

Zack rolled his eyes, sinking a bit more into the pillows, watching Jason scrolling on his phone, shifting onto his left side until he found a position that wasn't painful and drifting off.

 

He jolted awake when the bed dipped, limbs flailing.

 

"Chill, it's me," Trini whispered, climbing into bed right behind him.

 

"Whaa...?" Zack asked, staring at her, not sure if he was awake or dreaming, glancing at the window and that was definitely Kim.

 

"I told you you'd wake him if you got in on that side," Billy said, from the other side of Jason.

 

Trini stuck her tongue out at him, pushing Zack to lay back down, Kim joining the pile easily.

 

"What're you guys--"

 

"You'll heal faster with everyone here," Billy said.

 

"We're your friends," Kim added firmly.

 

"Today was shit, let's just sleep," Trini said, curling into him.

 

Zack's arms moved around her automatically, glancing around at everyone before settling in.

 

"Someone kick Jason to the floor so we have more leg room," he said, grinning when Jason grunted a moment later and Kim laughed, feeling safe and warm and drifting to sleep.

 

He didn't wake when the rest of the team snuck out to go back to their homes, barely stirring when Jason's alarm clock went off, merely rolling over and starfishing out into the extra space he suddenly had.

 

"Zack?" Jason said, amused when the lump in his bed didn't move, even after Jason got dressed and returned from the bathroom.

 

When Zack didn't reply, Jason moved to the bed to shake him gently, grinning at his bedhead.

 

Zack blinked at Jason, yawning into his pillow, warm and sleepy, letting Jason pull his hand from the covers with only a questioning noise.

 

"These look a lot better," Jason said, relieved. "The face though... that's a lost cause."

 

Zack lazily flipped him off, not having the energy to do much else.

 

Jason chuckled, standing up. "Sleep, man. I'll let the team know you're taking a sick day."

 

Zack gave a thumbs up in the vague direction he guessed Jason to be, smiling a little at his laughter and easily drifting off as the door closed behind him.

 

He woke well into the afternoon to an empty house, absolutely starving. Yawning and stretching, he grabbed his phone and sent Jason a general keysmash, asking him if it was cool if he grabbed some food.

 

He had to wait twenty minutes before he got a reply, and then the reply was just that Jason would pick him up in ten, since school was letting out.

 

Fuck, had he really slept that long?

 

Zack got dressed and headed to the bathroom, bracing himself before looking in the mirror. Huh, his face was... barely bruised. He flexed his fingers, some ache there, but they, too, looked pretty normal. Even his chest, when he'd been getting dressed was mostly healed, and his right leg felt fine.

 

The power of ranger cuddling.

 

Snickering at the thought, he took a quick selfie with a huge grin and sent it to everyone. _Cuddling is the best cure!_

 

_You're adorable._ -Kim

_You're an idiot._ -Trini

_I'm glad it worked._ -Billy

 

Zack laughed, heading outside to wait for Jason and grinning at him when he pulled up, completely not surprised to see everyone with him.

 

"Like I said this morning, the face is a lost cause," Jason grinned.

 

"And like I said this morning," Zack said, giving him the finger and climbing in. "Now shut up and drive, bossman, I'm fucking starving."

 

Everyone laughed and the tension that had been between them all was gone, everyone clearly happy to have their Zack back.

 

They had pizza and ice cream for dessert, laughing and just enjoying being together. Before they could all climb into the truck to head home, though, Zack cleared his throat.

 

"Hey, uh. Can we... visit my mom first?" Zack asked, glancing at them, gaze landing on Jason.

 

"Yeah. Of course," Jason said immediately.

 

"Let's get flowers," Kim added with a small smile.

 

"Yeah," Zack agreed, grateful to Trini for reaching for his hand, feeling more grounded with her to hang on to. They got flowers, a rainbow of colors this time, and piled into the truck. It was a little quieter, a little more somber, but Zack could feel their support, too.

 

Still, it was hard to walk up to her grave, to see the marker and know his mom was dead and buried here.

 

"Hey, mom," he whispered, sitting cross legged right there on the ground. "Brought my friends to say hi."

 

"Hi, Mrs. Taylor," Billy said, sitting next to Zack. "Zack didn't go to school today, but he was recovering so that's okay. He went yesterday, though."

 

Zack huffed a little. "Ratting me out?"

 

Billy shrugged. "I still tell my dad everything, so I thought we should tell your mom."

 

Zack couldn't speak around the lump in his throat, knocking into Billy softly instead, but the blue ranger seemed to get it, smiling at him.

 

"He went to Saturday detention, though," Kim said, sitting on Zack's other side. "But his taste in our band is absurd."

 

"For the last time, Kim, we are not in a band!" Trini said, sitting next to her.

 

"We totally are, Power Rangers is like, the best band name ever," Kim argued.

 

"Wait, does your mom know--" Billy started, stopping when Zack nodded.

 

"Yeah, I told her. She knows we're superheroes," Zack said, glancing at Jason as he took a seat next to Billy. "Guess I broke the rules, bossman."

 

"I won't tell Zordon if you won't," Jason said with a small smile.

 

"Wall Dad would not be happy," Kim agreed.

 

"Wall Dad," Trini wheezed, not having expected that, covering her mouth.

 

"But that's not important; what is important is that Zack is totally the lead guitarist," Kim said.

 

"No way, I'm lead guitar," Jason said.

 

"No, you're bass," Kim argued.

 

"What am I again?" Trini asked.

 

"Drums," Kim answered immediately.

 

"Nice," Trini grinned.

 

"And I'm keyboard, and Kim is vocals," Billy added.

 

"Exactly," Kim grinned.

 

"But why am I bass?" Jason questioned.

 

"Because, lead guitar crowd surfs, and that's totally Zack," Kim said.

 

"She's gotcha there, J," Trini agreed.

 

"Not you _too_ ," Jason moaned.

 

"Can you actually play the guitar?" Billy wanted to know.

 

"Well, no, but I can't play bass either!" Jason protested.

 

Kim waved a hand. "Same thing, just different notes."

 

"They are _not_ the same--"

 

Zack leaned back on his hands and grinned, just letting the conversation wash over him, listening to his friends joke and argue. He stared at his mother's name, carved into her marker. _I miss you, mom. Love you._


	8. Chapter 8

_TWO WEEKS LATER_

 

It wasn't perfect; sometimes, it was all he could do to get out of his bed in the morning. But his friends were there to support him and were only a text message away. The ache of missing his mom didn't really fade -- it was strong inside him, a piece of his heart missing -- but he learned to live with it, to laugh anyway.

 

He actually looked forward to visiting his mother's grave with his friends, because they told her wild, impossible stories that were only sometimes true and made him laugh and he knew that, more than anything, is what she would have wanted.

 

He went to school every day, now, his friends helping him with classes and homework and extra credit, determined to see him graduate with them. And with them there when he needed them, he felt like he could actually do it, and he was excited to get to bring his diploma to his mother and show her that he _did_ it. He'd made it. He was okay.

 

\--

 

"You know you can just keep staying with me," Jason said, frowning at Zack putting his things away in his trailer.

 

"No, I can't," Zack said, not pausing. "Your parents can't afford another kid."

 

"Look, I know you overhead them arguing but I promise, they had the same argument before you started staying with me," Jason said, voice earnest. "You can't work and go to school..."

 

"Billy's got it all set, I'll get a stipend since I'm still in high school," Zack said, not looking up.

 

"That's only for another two months!" Jason protested.

 

"Yeah, and then I'll get a job," Zack said calmly, finally looking up. "Look, man, I really appreciate all the help, but I am getting sick of your face. I need to do this."

 

Jason frowned, not at the tease -- that was typical Zack -- but how sure he was. "Since when did you get all calm and mature?"

 

"One of us has to be, and you seem to have given up today," Zack teased, clapping Jason on the shoulder. "I'll be okay," he promised.

 

"Fine," Jason said, deflating a bit. "But my door's always open."

 

"Not when I'm staying there," Zack teased, pushing past him to leave.

 

"Ass," Jason said, following him out.

 

Zack punched him lightly. "I get it, dude. Thanks. Now c'mon, they are all gonna blame me if we are late!"

 

\--

 

"Does the open door policy apply to windows?" Zack asked quietly, sitting on Jason's windowsill.

 

Jason jumped slightly, fumbling to light up his phone so he could see Zack. "Yeah, of course," he said, voice rough with sleep.

 

Zack nodded, climbing the rest of the way in and shutting the window gently, moving to the bed and getting in when Jason just lifted the covers for him.

 

"Thanks, man," Zack said, tired but already relaxing here.

 

Jason just hummed, already falling back to sleep, and Zack wasn't far behind him.

 

It became a thing after that. He'd try to sleep at his place, he really would, but it was just so _quiet_ without the sounds of his mothers breathing, its absence pressing on him until he couldn't stand it and his feet carried him to Jason's.

 

Usually, Zack would wake up at Jason's alarm and sneak out to run back to his place to get ready for school, but they both forgot about the lack of alarms on Sunday (Saturday had been a long day, there was a new guy in detention who was causing trouble and Zordon had summoned up weird new monsters for them to fight in the pit that had left them all a bit bruised and cranky).

 

Mrs. Scott knocked on Jason's door, calling out, "Jason, breakfast!" as she opened the door, amused at Jason bolting upright and trying to casually block the extra lump in his bed with his body.

 

"Yep, thanks, be right there," Jason said, trying to will her to leave.

 

Mrs. Scott just smiled and shook her head, pushing the door open and turning to leave. "Oh, and tell Zack he's welcome to stay for breakfast, too," she added over her shoulder, heading downstairs.

 

Zack froze, meeting Jason's wide-eyed gaze with his own. _Shit_.

 

"Well," Jason said, only blushing a little. "We might as well go down."

 

Zack groaned. "I'm such a dumbass, I forgot an alarm."

 

"It's fine, c'mon," Jason said, standing up.

 

"You sure?" Zack asked, not wanting to make things bad for Jason with his parents.

 

"Yeah," Jason nodded, offering him a small smile. "I promise."


End file.
